David Letterman Admits To Having Sex

Since David Letterman made his announcement, he has received e-mails from women all over the world stating, they do not want to have sex with him. Ordinarily this would clear the way for his wife but, we understand that she sent one of the e-mails.

Though it is just a rumor, we hear that Mrs. Letterman will be moving in with Sarah Palin. She was overheard telling a friend, "It doesn't matter whether you have sex with him or not, if you are a woman you will still get screwed!"

Though it seems Mr. Letterman left out some details, we understand that what caused him to notice the package in the backseat so quickly, was the front tires lifted 3 inches off of the ground. On closer inspection he discovered it was the weight of all the evidence.

Though none of the Palins have commented, it is suspected that Mrs. Letterman will receive a warm welcome.

Meanwhile Robert Halderman, the man arrested, pled not guilty in court, explaining that he was not attempting to blackmail anyone. He was simply trying to raise capital for his new documentary entitled, 'Sex Among The Elderly'


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