National Weather Service Alert

A TSUNAMI ADVISORY IS IN EFFECT WHICH INCLUDES THE
COASTAL AREAS OF CALIFORNIA AND OREGON FROM THE
CALIFORNIA-MEXICO BORDER TO THE OREGON-WASHINGTON BORDER...

...THIS MESSAGE IS INFORMATION ONLY FOR COASTAL AREAS OF
WASHINGTON - BRITISH COLUMBIA AND ALASKA FROM THE
OREGON-WASHINGTON BORDER TO ATTU ALASKA...

RECOMMENDED ACTIONS
A TSUNAMI HAS BEEN GENERATED WHICH COULD CAUSE DAMAGE TO THE
ADVISORY REGIONS LISTED IN THE HEADLINE. PERSONS
IN LOW-LYING COASTAL AREAS SHOULD BE ALERT TO INSTRUCTIONS FROM
THEIR LOCAL EMERGENCY OFFICIALS. EVACUATIONS ARE ONLY ORDERED BY
EMERGENCY RESPONSE AGENCIES.
- PERSONS IN TSUNAMI ADVISORY AREAS SHOULD MOVE OUT OF THE
WATER... OFF THE BEACH AND OUT OF HARBORS AND MARINAS.

THIS MESSAGE IS BASED ON EARTHQUAKE DATA... OBSERVED TSUNAMI
AMPLITUDES... HISTORICAL INFORMATION AND FORECAST MODELS

Tsunami Watch Update

The tsunami watch for Hawaii has been cancelled at this time. Please check news for further updates

Tsunami Watch Emergency Alert

A tsunami that resulted from an 8.3 earthquake is being monitored to be sure that it will not hit Hawaii by 7pm eastern standard time

Taylor Swift, Kanye West, What's Next??

People are upset over the way Kanye West grabbed the microphone from Taylor Swift at the VMA awards. Though were sure that Ms. Swift is grateful for Mr. West's assistance in holding the microphone during her speech,(those pesky mics can get so heavy)She's willing to tuff it out next time, and go it alone for her next acceptance speech.

Meanwhile she has little choice but to move on. Her concerts are sold out in the United states, and for that matter, worldwide............all except for just two......for the rest of the year. They are, November 23 London, UK Wembley Arena,
November 24 Manchester, UK Manchester Evening News Arena

Click my little ticket icon in the sidebar and, you will be magically whisked away to a special land where these tickets are available now. Or you may want to google and see what else you can find but, whatever you do, you'll have to do it soon. Clearly these tickets won't gather any dust either.

Animals Bring Lawsuit In Federal Court

Professor John Dolittle Phd.(pathological head destroyer) stated today that he had been in close touch with the animal population, and that they wanted to bring a class action suit agianst the federal government, as well as human kind at large.

So, the rat population got together first, and with Ben Vector(retired actor from 1972) as their rat rep. and Professor Dolittle as their translator, they brought suit today, in Federal court.



Ben, speaking through Professor Dolittle, insisted that since they certainly outnumber humans, that they deserve their fair share of house and senate seats. In a statement from Professor Dolittle he explained, They don't believe that they will be adequately represented, even with the aid of animal activist groups, until they have their fair share of rats in office. He further explained, that their was little they could do on their own about their plight because, they haven't any thumbs. Because of this, Ben communicated, he felt that they deserved to be declared handicapped, and eligible for federal benefits. In any case they fully expect to be included in any healthcare plan that is approved for humans.

Earlier in the week the rats and cats got together in a truly bipatisan move, and hammered out what both agreed was a fair deal. If you already have a home, and you want to keep that home......you can stay in your home! However, if your owner moves to a home that already has rats, then the cats in question would be required to move on. Naturally, the situation would work in reverse, prompting every pussy in town to transform into a true realestate hound.

Of course, at the bottom of all of this is the proposed option that the government provide housing in a mixed predator neighborhood. Ben shuddered as he discussed this eat-or-be-eaten government plan.

In a later interview, Ben expressed anger at being called vermin. He said that such derogatory names lead to stereotyping, and we all know how dangerous stereotyping can be. Besides, Ben explained, while running the exercise wheel, we were also victims in that whole Bubonic Plague thing.

In a seperate project Professor Dolittle has been working in Spain to gain human rights for apes. While we will keep an eye on this one, we don't really expect that it will be successful. It is simply not expected to be widely accepted due to the inherent racism.
True activists insist that this cannot pass unless it includes human rights for all apes world wide.



In a seperate statement Professor Dolittle said that that if we just broaden our educational goals, and raise taxes, we can turn all apes into productive members of their communities. He did though, express some frustration, trying to get them to understand the importance of mouthwash......maybe banana flavored.

THIS STORY IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT ONLY

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