How To Make A Buck

Well....you start with a little mood music, some nice wine, and a very pretty doe named Bambi. (no relation to the original)

It's important to teach Bambi the importance of praising his big, handsome, rack.



Special Thanks To Mrs. Beetson

Though it's important to be coy,(she has to hightail it at first) as long as she wears that french designer perfume, Eau D'Estrus, she'll always get her buck. (Just a little on the backs of her legs will do it.)

There are some drawbacks though. For one thing, She'll probably have to find the refreshment, so she'll need to know how to outrun those pesky Walmart employees.

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Special Thanks To Arbroath

The automatic door will open if she just runs for it. Grab the grapes if you have extra time, or the bottle of wine if you're in a hurry, and go! Not to suggest that makin' a buck has to be criminal, it just depends on the resources and taste.

She has to be a smart doe. The music will have to come from late night birds, not owls!
This music is known to attract others. Too often Owls are known to swoop out of the orchestra and eat certain members of the audience. Herbivores are almost always turned off by all this disgusting meat eating... Spoils the mood.

Never molt in front of him, nothing turns off the opposite sex like watching all your hair fall out.

If the stag is still hesitant you can give him a little cialis but if he remains eager after a week, call Dr. Dolittle!

Much like fraternity boys, stags like to hang out together. Although it's been said that they are trying to determine dominance, I think what they're really doing is deciding who's going to lead the Deers 'Safety Seminar'. Titles include things like, 'How To Find Daylight And Avoid Feeling Flat', and 'Only One Opening In The Hedge'. 'From Grass To
Asphalt Traveling Tips', has always been a popular class as well.

Unfortunately, the classes are given in the daytime when deer often snooze, causing them to miss a few details. Later on they get hungry, so that doesn't work well either.

If you think all of this sounds difficult, and rough, just remember, and don't ever forget... Nobody ever said that makin' a buck was easy.

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