Winter Snowsuits $.5cents Each

We've been warned to worry about fleas, even in winter,
and we agree. Now At Last! There's finally a solution.
We've created the new space age product Fleasage.
Yes friends, now people all over Massillon, Canton, and
Akron can be among the first to walk their dogs in true style.


What's so great about Fleasage? Warmer and lighter than
ordinary fleece, Fleasage is the matterial that
we use to fill our special Flease Flea Snowsuits that keep
your fleas warm and happy all winter long {Patent Pending}
(pendin' on whether or not we file for one)

Yes! Now friends and neighbors when you put that diamond
studded collar on Fi-Fi you'll be glad you took that extra
step of care and status when you bought your fleas their very
own Flease Flea Snowsuits. On top of that they come in several
colors, and one size fits all. That way you know you'll have
the best quality, no matter whether your fleas are thin or fat.
Flease Flea always grows with your fleas.


In a special interview, Ms Flea offered this great reference... (post continues below)





So, don't be fooled, or settle for second best. Make sure you
only accept the original Flease Flea Snowsuit, check the label.


For Fastest Ordering Please Call Us @ #FF-364 Where our friendly
customer service staff, will explain in broken english, that our
minimum order is 100 Thousand per color.(Fleas reproduce quickly
and the cost is a mere $.5cents each, plus $.2cents shipping andhandling.
(master interest and travel broke credit cards only please)
*magnifying glass and tweezers sold separately*

A Simple Act Of Kindness

I was looking through Craigs List today, the most important thing on my mind was locating a kitchen faucet. Hoping to find a bargain, I came across the following ad instead. As we face such hard economic times, it's important to remember, there are those who face a much grimmer Christmas.



A Simple Act Of Kindness

My name is Sandra. I am 43 and the mother
of two boys ages 9 and 14.I live in Essex
Nursing Center,in Tallmadge Ohio. Unfortunately,
I am dying.. My children and I are
separated due to my illness. We have
no family. My boys feel so alone. Please,
send them a greeting card to show them
you care. Please, send your greetings to:
Sandra H.
c/o Essex Nursing Center
563 colony park dr
a-22-a
Tallmadge, Ohio 44278

Please understand, I am not asking for money.
Just a small moment of your time. Please show
Doogie and Drew-Drew people really do care.

Thank you for caring, & Happy Holidays!!!

I think we should all remember how lucky we are this year, to be with our families, or at least to know they are all ok. I hope everyone will take A Simple Act Of Kindness to heart and send this family the love and understanding they so desperately need.

How To Make A Buck

Well....you start with a little mood music, some nice wine, and a very pretty doe named Bambi. (no relation to the original)

It's important to teach Bambi the importance of praising his big, handsome, rack.



Special Thanks To Mrs. Beetson

Though it's important to be coy,(she has to hightail it at first) as long as she wears that french designer perfume, Eau D'Estrus, she'll always get her buck. (Just a little on the backs of her legs will do it.)

There are some drawbacks though. For one thing, She'll probably have to find the refreshment, so she'll need to know how to outrun those pesky Walmart employees.

.
Special Thanks To Arbroath

The automatic door will open if she just runs for it. Grab the grapes if you have extra time, or the bottle of wine if you're in a hurry, and go! Not to suggest that makin' a buck has to be criminal, it just depends on the resources and taste.

She has to be a smart doe. The music will have to come from late night birds, not owls!
This music is known to attract others. Too often Owls are known to swoop out of the orchestra and eat certain members of the audience. Herbivores are almost always turned off by all this disgusting meat eating... Spoils the mood.

Never molt in front of him, nothing turns off the opposite sex like watching all your hair fall out.

If the stag is still hesitant you can give him a little cialis but if he remains eager after a week, call Dr. Dolittle!

Much like fraternity boys, stags like to hang out together. Although it's been said that they are trying to determine dominance, I think what they're really doing is deciding who's going to lead the Deers 'Safety Seminar'. Titles include things like, 'How To Find Daylight And Avoid Feeling Flat', and 'Only One Opening In The Hedge'. 'From Grass To
Asphalt Traveling Tips', has always been a popular class as well.

Unfortunately, the classes are given in the daytime when deer often snooze, causing them to miss a few details. Later on they get hungry, so that doesn't work well either.

If you think all of this sounds difficult, and rough, just remember, and don't ever forget... Nobody ever said that makin' a buck was easy.

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Love And The H1N1 Zombie

I know, I didn't think there could be such a problem either. Then I found this one website... If the BBC is talking about it,(Click For Reference) then it must be true. What a lot of problems. Socially this is gonna cause all sorts of trouble.

The way I understand it, after dying from H1N1, the virus itself restarts the heart. From there, the fun and frolic begins.

If you think you had problems pulling a blind date together before, you haven't seen anything, until you have to set up an H1N1 Zombie on a blind date. A certain amount of responsibility goes with a thing like that!

I mean, suppose your friend Judy calls, she's looking for a date for Saturday night. She knows that Joe is a friend of yours, even though he's never met her. She tells you that she wants him to come for dinner. Now you know that Judy is a cute little blonde, but, she has that pesky zombie thing going on, ya know?

Okay, so she calls, and she's looking for a date Saturday night. She tells you she'd like for you to ask your friend Joe, if he'd come over for dinner. Now, you know that your friend Judy, is cute. Ordinarily she'd be just the kind of girl your friend Joe would go for. But dang it, she's got that scarey zombie thing happenin'.

Even if you know she's been trying her best, she switched to that new zombie strength deodorant, and she's switched mouthwash five times.(zombies are known for dragon breath, or perhaps I should say zombie breath.) Still, how can you be sure it's really the right thing to do?
Can you really be sure she wants him as a guest at the table and not a guest on the table? Bummin', and that's just the beginning, suppose he wants to take her out to dinner, and she gets so hungry she just can't help herself. Even the nicest of places frown on folks chewing on their guests, no matter how they plan to serve them. Then there was that one time she ordered a bloody mary, and sent it back. She said it just didn't have enough 'body'! Then there's that dental thing...

So, by now you're wondering what these zombie people look like. Once you've seen one it's an experiance you'll never forget. Except... for the women, according to the video below, they just apply makeup and hide alot of the obvious signs.

This will be your only warning, the pictures I'm about to show you are very graphic. This is not for the 'faint of heart'.

Special thanks to seibertron.com


Careful now, get ready...



Special thanks to My Code Tree


Okay, so if I haven't made you sick yet, you may want to watch the video below, for a better in depth understanding, of Love and the H1N1 Zombie.




If you enjoyed this spoofy story, please help me out and subscribe.

Black Friday Shopping

Black Friday Shopping is always so hard. First you have to get out of bed, locate clothing, and remove all the furniture jammed against the door, to keep your dog out of your bed. Then, you still, bleary eyed, must somehow locate your own bathroom. Now it's time to stumble down the stairs without breaking your neck, all before coffee.

You race, coffee in hand, out to your car.......it won't start.......but you just bought a new battery, it can't be that! Suddenly you hear a small noise, why it's Mr. Chipmonk, and he's come out to ask if you'll turn on the heat. Now you know the problem, Mr. Chipmonk has been taking your wiring and crafting cute little pieces of chipmonk jewelry, to give as Christmas gifts.(everybody wants to get in on the act)

Knowing how hard it can be to find time to shop and find that perfect gift, I scoured the internet until I found just the right shopping help. I even included this special little ditty, just in case you're tempted to skip the video.

It's Black Friday Shopping
So I will tell you true
Watch the video below
So you won't look like poo!
-Post Continued Below...


Thankyou for allowing me to introduce and showcase my new friend VenetianPrincess
If you enjoyed this video as much as I did, why not subscribe?! It's fast, it's free and it's fun. Just click this link

Click the yellow subscribe button and follow the prompts. You'll never worry about missing anything this good again.

You can also meet and make friends with venetianprincess at myspace by justclicking here plus lots more....twitter, etc. You can even get the phone number and call venetianprincess. So, have fun, and have a great Thanksgiving!
Oh yeah, Please tell her Sweetromance2 sent you.

?"
By followmebuttons.com

HiN1 Zombies

Close your doors and windows
Pull your curtains shut
H1N1 zombies have been
Dreamed up by some nutt!

SWINE FLU ZOMBIE OUTBREAK -Post Continued Below...


I really can't believe it
I don't belive it's true
That Zombies tear you all to shreds
Just because they had the flu

The folks that have been dying
Are most sincerely dead
I don't think they chase anyone
No matter what we've read

But you watch my little video
For this will tell you true
How you can protect yourself
And avoid the H1N1 Flu

Protect Yourself, Watch This Video -Post Continued Below...


(If you enjoy these clips please click the center
to go to Youtube and subscribe free)

Jim Carrey In 'A Christmas Carol'

Disney's A Christmas Carol Movie Trailer


With all of the drama trauma going on lately,and laughter being the best medicine, maybe this would be a good time to let off a little steam. Just in time for the holidays comes a new version of an old classic. Jim Carrey in 'A Christmas Carol', Opening today. With all of the fun we've come to expect, it's the perfect movie for the whole family this holiday
season. The special effects will wow the kiddies, while teaching them something of the true meaning of Christmas. Meanwhile, adults will love the special effects, the humor, and the fact that Jim (he really is busy), Carrey plays every one of the characters, in this fun rendition, himself. This speaks highly of Jim Carrey as well as his makeup
crew.(lol) The trailers alone prove these are true artists at work.



One cannot help but wonder what it must be like to wear all of that make-up, all day, while they were shooting. At any rate, clearly it's a movie for the whole family to relieve some stress. Who knows, it might become a new tradition, and a great, fun way to lower your healthcare costs.
One thing is for sure, it sounds like a fun experiment.

Since the movie is just opening today, you might not know where to find it in your area, just click my ticket icon, you will go to a reputable site. Just enter your zipcode for where to find the movie and tickets in your area. Or watch the newspapers for showtimes.

'This Is It' Grosses Big At Boxoffice

Michael Jackson Final Rehearsal "This Is It" Tour



According to Rolling Stone Magazine'This Is It' grossed $101 million worldwide over the weekend. Dispite the huge turnout it seems the UnitedStates has been slow to react.

Fortunately, it's been decided to extend the tour due to the wonderful response, and we get yet another chance to see this American Music Icon in action.

'This Is It' came in ahead of 'Paranormal Activity'even though it was halloween, they still only grossed a mere $16.5million by comparison to the $21.3 million grossed by 'This Is It' here in the UnitedStates.

To get movie schedules and ticket info, just click the ticket in the menu to your right. But, do remember this movie is out for a limited time so, you'll want to get your tickets soon, and not miss this fascinating opportunity

This Is It

Michael Jackson Memorial
At the memorial service for Michael Jackson, Kenny Ortega, who planned the "This Is It" concert tour called Staples Center "Michael's house." There is no doubt that he was as comfortable on the stage as he was in his own bedroom. The show closes with a performance of "We Are The World" This is about an eleven minute video so, prepare to relax and enjoy the sentiment. There is no doubt that Michael shared alot with everyone. I think he hoped that sharing would make everyone better.(story continues under video)




Michael decided to share something that most of us never get to witness. That is the creative process involved with his music. "This Is It" is a special behind the scenes look into part of what made Michael's music what it is.



Click The Ticket In My
Sidebar For Tickets In
Your Area

David Letterman Admits To Having Sex

Since David Letterman made his announcement, he has received e-mails from women all over the world stating, they do not want to have sex with him. Ordinarily this would clear the way for his wife but, we understand that she sent one of the e-mails.

Though it is just a rumor, we hear that Mrs. Letterman will be moving in with Sarah Palin. She was overheard telling a friend, "It doesn't matter whether you have sex with him or not, if you are a woman you will still get screwed!"

Though it seems Mr. Letterman left out some details, we understand that what caused him to notice the package in the backseat so quickly, was the front tires lifted 3 inches off of the ground. On closer inspection he discovered it was the weight of all the evidence.

Though none of the Palins have commented, it is suspected that Mrs. Letterman will receive a warm welcome.

Meanwhile Robert Halderman, the man arrested, pled not guilty in court, explaining that he was not attempting to blackmail anyone. He was simply trying to raise capital for his new documentary entitled, 'Sex Among The Elderly'


THIS STORY IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT ONLY

National Weather Service Alert

A TSUNAMI ADVISORY IS IN EFFECT WHICH INCLUDES THE
COASTAL AREAS OF CALIFORNIA AND OREGON FROM THE
CALIFORNIA-MEXICO BORDER TO THE OREGON-WASHINGTON BORDER...

...THIS MESSAGE IS INFORMATION ONLY FOR COASTAL AREAS OF
WASHINGTON - BRITISH COLUMBIA AND ALASKA FROM THE
OREGON-WASHINGTON BORDER TO ATTU ALASKA...

RECOMMENDED ACTIONS
A TSUNAMI HAS BEEN GENERATED WHICH COULD CAUSE DAMAGE TO THE
ADVISORY REGIONS LISTED IN THE HEADLINE. PERSONS
IN LOW-LYING COASTAL AREAS SHOULD BE ALERT TO INSTRUCTIONS FROM
THEIR LOCAL EMERGENCY OFFICIALS. EVACUATIONS ARE ONLY ORDERED BY
EMERGENCY RESPONSE AGENCIES.
- PERSONS IN TSUNAMI ADVISORY AREAS SHOULD MOVE OUT OF THE
WATER... OFF THE BEACH AND OUT OF HARBORS AND MARINAS.

THIS MESSAGE IS BASED ON EARTHQUAKE DATA... OBSERVED TSUNAMI
AMPLITUDES... HISTORICAL INFORMATION AND FORECAST MODELS

Tsunami Watch Update

The tsunami watch for Hawaii has been cancelled at this time. Please check news for further updates

Tsunami Watch Emergency Alert

A tsunami that resulted from an 8.3 earthquake is being monitored to be sure that it will not hit Hawaii by 7pm eastern standard time

Taylor Swift, Kanye West, What's Next??

People are upset over the way Kanye West grabbed the microphone from Taylor Swift at the VMA awards. Though were sure that Ms. Swift is grateful for Mr. West's assistance in holding the microphone during her speech,(those pesky mics can get so heavy)She's willing to tuff it out next time, and go it alone for her next acceptance speech.

Meanwhile she has little choice but to move on. Her concerts are sold out in the United states, and for that matter, worldwide............all except for just two......for the rest of the year. They are, November 23 London, UK Wembley Arena,
November 24 Manchester, UK Manchester Evening News Arena

Click my little ticket icon in the sidebar and, you will be magically whisked away to a special land where these tickets are available now. Or you may want to google and see what else you can find but, whatever you do, you'll have to do it soon. Clearly these tickets won't gather any dust either.

Animals Bring Lawsuit In Federal Court

Professor John Dolittle Phd.(pathological head destroyer) stated today that he had been in close touch with the animal population, and that they wanted to bring a class action suit agianst the federal government, as well as human kind at large.

So, the rat population got together first, and with Ben Vector(retired actor from 1972) as their rat rep. and Professor Dolittle as their translator, they brought suit today, in Federal court.



Ben, speaking through Professor Dolittle, insisted that since they certainly outnumber humans, that they deserve their fair share of house and senate seats. In a statement from Professor Dolittle he explained, They don't believe that they will be adequately represented, even with the aid of animal activist groups, until they have their fair share of rats in office. He further explained, that their was little they could do on their own about their plight because, they haven't any thumbs. Because of this, Ben communicated, he felt that they deserved to be declared handicapped, and eligible for federal benefits. In any case they fully expect to be included in any healthcare plan that is approved for humans.

Earlier in the week the rats and cats got together in a truly bipatisan move, and hammered out what both agreed was a fair deal. If you already have a home, and you want to keep that home......you can stay in your home! However, if your owner moves to a home that already has rats, then the cats in question would be required to move on. Naturally, the situation would work in reverse, prompting every pussy in town to transform into a true realestate hound.

Of course, at the bottom of all of this is the proposed option that the government provide housing in a mixed predator neighborhood. Ben shuddered as he discussed this eat-or-be-eaten government plan.

In a later interview, Ben expressed anger at being called vermin. He said that such derogatory names lead to stereotyping, and we all know how dangerous stereotyping can be. Besides, Ben explained, while running the exercise wheel, we were also victims in that whole Bubonic Plague thing.

In a seperate project Professor Dolittle has been working in Spain to gain human rights for apes. While we will keep an eye on this one, we don't really expect that it will be successful. It is simply not expected to be widely accepted due to the inherent racism.
True activists insist that this cannot pass unless it includes human rights for all apes world wide.



In a seperate statement Professor Dolittle said that that if we just broaden our educational goals, and raise taxes, we can turn all apes into productive members of their communities. He did though, express some frustration, trying to get them to understand the importance of mouthwash......maybe banana flavored.

THIS STORY IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT ONLY

Those Who Read This Also Read
How To Make A Buck
Tsunami Hits Hawaii Or When It's Too Late To Evacuate

Sweetromance is also published byTheSpoof.com

THREE LITTLE BIRDS TOLD ME A SECRET

Amid angry townhall meetings,SEIU Busses, and out of control unemployment, out pops a talent to soothe your shattered nerves. As Connie Talbot sings her heart out to 'Three Little Birds', you find yourself really believing her when she sings the lyric, 'Every Little Thing Is Gonna Be Alright'.As you hear her sing, Don't Worry About A Thing, one feels the tension drain away and hope bloom anew.

It appears that Little Connie Talbot has a family full of talent. Though Connie has been singing since she was just two years old, she didn't make her first public appearence until she was three. She had a guest spot in a talent contest her older brother, (Josh) and sister, (Mollie) entered.

Though Connie was not a contestant at that time,(due only to contest age limits) She most likely,(in my opinion) would have won. She says she loved the experiance, and we believe her.

Check out the related videos and see both Connie and her mother hold their breaths as they await the judgement of the mean ol' scarey Simon! See if you can agree with what Simon had to say regarding this cute little charmer.

Though Connie has left the United States for the time being, to perform August 22,2009 on The Miss Hong Kong Pageant, You can still see her guest appearance through her YouTube Channel, onThe NBC 10! Show , along with all of her other great videos. If you subscribe to her channel now, you can catch all her latest uploads.

You can also keep up with Connie through her fansite and her MySpace Profile.

Though 'Three Little Birds' was one of her last uploads, fans take heart. Connie is expected to be back in the United States in October, when she will be promoting her brand new Christmas Album. I'm sure we'll all be looking forward to it.